The "guaranteed" New years resolution ads...

There are few things in life that you can guarantee will happen.

2009 was good at proving this. People lost jobs, lives, marriages, loved ones and a stable political parties.

However, the end of 2009 brings some guaranteed events that happen every-single-year.

Advertisements.

Advertisements that pin down people's thoughts, vulnerabilities and hope's that everyone feels at the start of a new year.

The Top 5 guaranteed advertisements in the month of January:

1) Quit smoking ads, with special emphasis on the "family", getting all those mums and dads. Cigarette companies have stocked up all those extra sales from people parting every day of December, and they know that once people try those awful gums and lozenges they will be back by March, they just patiently sit there, smoking their cigarettes... (day 4 you know).

2) Crisco Hampers. Although I haven't seen one this year, day time ads on tellie's are generally ubiquitous in January, especially during Days of Our Lives. I even remember the jingle they play, and the old lady on the add that looks like Mrs Clause, because while the men go and earn the money for the presents, the little lady should be preparing Christmas hampers at home the whole year round!

3) Jenny Craig, and all those other 'loose weight' products and services - shakes, gyms, lite'n'easy, diet centre's, fitness centre's etc. Offer's include "No Joining Fees"! Wow, no joining fees, lets get in. Six months later, everyone has reverted to their couch and tacky pants as its cold, and winter, and frankly, mid year festivities don't encourage resolutions, not even when you are paying $80 a month.

4) $1 a day for funeral insurance. Because let's face it, everyone gets older this year, or dies.

5) Donate to a World Vision Cause. Donate blood. Donate to... Well basically any organisation. They are halfway through the financial year, and running low on funds. They rely on peoples resolutions to give more to get them through the next six months!

These five ads encompass most people's new years resolutions. Quit Smoking. Lose Weight. Get finances in Order. Be a better person. Prepare for Christmas better next year.

Good on the advertising world in knowing their public. Now they just have to invent the half year resolution check list, and they could get double the customers!

Smoking: Quit Attempt 1/2010: Day 5

Day 5.

It's the end of the working week. The day I have historically most caved on.

And pub time. Boyfriend has won a free $100 voucher, and so I shall be hiking to the local pub soon to drown the week away in hopefully cheap wine.

And without a smoke.

Which is fine. I can do that. Now.

But after two or three wines, I know the craving will set it. Even worse than any day this week. And something in my head goes, you can have one. Just one. And its like there is two of me, and one of me talks the other into begging for a smoke. And if the begging doesn't work, I go and buy a packet.

It is a vicious cycle. I don't want to crack. I also don't want to have to deal with the yearning for a cigarette. I could avoid the pub, and the verandah, and the people who I know smoke. But that would mean closeting myself in my room. And as soon as I poke my head out, I know I'm still going to want one.

It's actually not that great - the smoking - it's quite disgusting. So why do I want to smoke?

Habit. Safety. Relaxation.

Why do I not want to smoke.

Health. Life. Money.

If only I could remember that after I have a few wines...

Smoking: Quit Attempt 1/2010: Day 3

I'm not sure any non smoker could understand the fascination with smoking a cigarette. It IS a drug. And sitting on your balcony, or in your backyard or a pub or wherever, having a smoke and a drink is possibly one of my most favorite things to do.

When stressed. When sad. When celebrating. When tired. When brain function is at an all time low capacity, smoking helps.

It becomes a part of your day, and a part of your life.

And when life is shitty, or boring, it is there, to help forget, wind down, absorb the day.

So today, after a VERY long, boring and dull day, I would love to go home and have a cigarette and a beer, or wine. I'd love to just sit there for 5 minutes, and not think of anything but having that cigarette, forget the day, wipe the slate clean, and enjoy my evening.

And no, the Nicorette gum cannot replace that feeling. no matter how much you try, it never will replace the cigarette.

So, instead of relaxing on my balcony today, with a drink, because for sure I will cave, I will sit inside, and slowly become grumpy and sullen and talkative because the one thing that I think will make me feel better, or help deal with my horribly unimportant existence, is gone.

I know its just the craving and addiction talking.

I know there is more in my life that a cigarette. and without the cigarette I will have more life.

and I know seriously that i dont really want a cigerette, but my body does.

But right now, I will be sullen, and drink my wine inside... away from the dregs of the ashtray that sits on my outside table like an open coffin.